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15 augusti 2017
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02 mars 2011
Quick run down of things:
Yesterday was my weigh-in & measurement day, needless to say I didn't post anything. I did weigh-in & measure but in order to keep my sanity I had to pretty much let it go for the day. Putting anymore conscious thought into it was going to send me over the edge.
I'll put up the numbers later just to document, but ALL of my measurements are up (esp in my legs), I was up 2lbs from Mon, and a total of 6lbs from the beginning of the year (No wonder why my pants don't fit!!). I know part of that is due to my workout schedule. I'm not sure there's a single day in the week that I'm not retaining water &/or SUPER "puffy" from all the weight lifting.
BUT . . .
Deficit-wise this is the break down: Jan I should have lost 12lbs & Feb I should have lost 10lbs. Last month I averaged 2200 cals eaten/day & burned an average of 3400 cals/day, so my average daily deficit was 1200 cals. Jan was much better, averaged 1400 cals deficit. Because of the lack of ANY weight-loss whatsoever, I figured that I may as well eat at maintenance level b/c there isn't a single calorie intake range that has made a difference.
Frustrated?? No, it's rainbows & butterflies for me. . . At least things are good with my personal trainer. I didn't bring this up with him b/c I probably would have started crying out of frustration & screwed my whole workout.
Still working on getting into the student health center to get a physical. I've never in the 20 times that I've had my thyroid checked WANTED there to be a problem. But after 2 yrs of concentrated effort, busting my ass like never before & get NOTHING in return, I need this to be the issue. I came to find out last night that both my uncles have thyroid issues as well & one almost died b/c his was barely even functioning. So, as odd as it may sound, my fingers are crossed that this is the issue & that getting on medication will fix the problem. I don't want to think of how things will be if it's NOT the issue.
Alright, time to run to class.
**EDIT**
Calorie Deficits
Jan: 40,301 = 11.51lbs
Feb: 36,180 = 10.34lbs
Total = 21.85lbs ~ 22lbs (can you see WHY there's frustration)
Weight: Feb 1: 244
Biceps: L:16.5 R:15.5
Bust: 43
Underbust: 37.25
Waist: 42.5
Hips: 51.75
Thighs: L:30.5 R:30
Calves: L:18 R:17.5
Neck: 13
Weight: Mar 1: 246 (+2)
Biceps: L:16.5 R:16.5 (0)(+1)
Bust: 43.75 (+.75)
Underbust: 38.5 (+.75)
Waist: 45.75 (+3.25)
Hips: 53.5 (+1.75)
Thighs: L:32 R:33 (+1.5) (+3)
Calves: L:19.5 R:18.5 (+1.5) (+1)
Neck: 13 (0)
Up 2lbs from last weigh-in & a total of 14.5 inches!! Doesn't inspire many positive feelings or thoughts; esp while I'm kickin' ass in the gym.
(13 kommentarer)
15 februari 2011
Feeling like I'm going out of my mind, but that's not really related to my weight loss efforts (at least not today).
Hopefully before the end of this week I will have scheduled an appointment to have my thyroid & a complete blood panel done (basically a whole physical). Going through the student health center so the whole thing should cost around $60. As much as I DON'T want to have finally inherited the family disease, having a thyroid problem would do much to explain things. I am at about the right age for it to happen, as it did for the rest of the women in my family. If that's not it then I know I'll be referred to a specialist & that I won't be able to afford. I can't imagine being put on yet another diet by a doctor at this point in my life. I've already done it all (except for HCG, and the like, thankfully). Idk, cart before the horse. I have far more than enough going on in life to stress about than this before anything has even been done.
Things are going well w/ my personal trainer. He's really nice & personable. I am NOT a morning person & I hate talking/engaging in real conversation before I'm fully awake & capable to do so, but he always seems to make it easy (damn him!! Lol). Last Thurs he had me do a 1/8 mi of deep lunges . . . only today did my legs & butt finally feel normal again. No more duck walking or crippled walking down stairs! It was pretty funny though. I told him that this was going to be a love/hate relationship between us. As sore as I was all weekend, it was still a very good thing. Today we agreed that on Thurs will be my last full body workout & next week we'll start focusing on a day of upper body & a day of lower body. I think in March, if my crazy, chaotic family life will permit, I'm going to kick it up to 4 sessions/wk. I'll have to buy another package before the month is out, but considering how cheap our personal training packages are, I'd better jump at the chance while I have it. I really wasn't sure after my first meeting w/ Cameron that I'd like him or that he'd push me hard enough, but I was WRONG!! He really is great & he does NOT let me get away with staying in my comfort zone. He constantly pushes me but not outside of what I am capable of doing. If anything doesn't feel right or I don't like, then that's it, we don't do it anymore. So yeah, at least ONE thing in my life is going well.
So the Rob Zombie concert last week. It was freakin' AWESOME!!! I was right up front, touched the man 3 times (no he's not a god, but pretty damn hot for a man his age). Piggy D handed me his towel. That turned into a bitter fight w/ another person that nearly caused me to be strangled so I let go, but in the end, the security guard got involved & when all was said & done I ended up with the towel. I ended up cutting it in half w/ my friend who helped battle for it, even after I let go. I'm not one of those people that "idolizes" pop figures (or people in general). They're just people who are amazingly awesome at what they do. That being said, I have NO idea what the heck I'm supposed to do with this sweaty towel that has make-up & hair all over it . . . One thing I wasn't expecting, that was one of the most racist experiences I've ever had. There haven't been many times in my life when I was afraid to be black, but that was definitely one of them. I guess I really didn't think about this as being a venue that was going to bring out the white priders, but apparently it did. Some chick said after the show they were outside chanting & fist pumping. That being said, I think I will be far more aware of the people around me while attending rock & metal concerts. I hate that I have to feel like I have to be on high alert, but after the towel incident & the guy saying he was going to find me after the show, I'm going to have to. BUT, overall it was still a great experience & I enjoyed myself.
Alright, off to figure out what I think is the most deviant social behavior in America between 2010-11 & come up w/ a debate (if I said what I really considered it to be, the social deviant in me would become blatantly obvious & I'd be shunned for the semester) . . . Oh what fun . . .
(2 kommentarer)
06 februari 2011
First I want to apologize to my buddies for my last journal. I'm glad I didn't say what I really meant to say b/c this isn't the place for me to say it. It was wrong & unfair of me to choose this venue to vent in the direction I was trying to go. I think that with everything that's going on I needed to get it out of my head. I had been putting off setting up appointments with my counselor for various reasons but finally did, so that I can say the things that I need to say without it coming off as pointing the finger or straight sucker punching someone in the face. The world & my life are what they are, how I feel about that is something I don't need to bring here. That being said, I apologize. I know it may come off as bizarre but even though you guys may not know what I was intending or feeling, I do; therefore I feel it necessary to own up to it & say sorry.
Now it just feels weird to transition after that . . .
Had an abbreviated session w/ my new personal trainer on Fri. We had to end early b/c I had been sick to my stomach all day but didn't want to reschedule. He was really nice about it & decided not to count it as a session so that I didn't get charged. I was so sick I literally couldn't look anywhere but up b/c I was going to puke.
[My stomach has issue w/ fresh spinach & I've been shoving TONS of it into my system. My stomach finally rebelled. The rest of my spinach must be cooked & put into quiches. After that no more spinach for a few months.]
My personal trainer seems nice, he's a brand new new hire, so he's still working the kinks out of things, but he does/did personal training at another gym before. The nice thing about a college gym is that they can't & don't push supplements or nutrition advise at all. He's going to really push me, beyond my comfort zone that's for sure. When I met w/ the female personal trainer the previous week she maxed me at a 15 or 18lb kettle bell. This guy won't let me go below 20lbs. Yes I can do it, but damn!! That's what I wanted so I look forward to being punished twice a week for the next 9 wks. If I can make it through 30 mins while being sick I think I'll survive in the long run. He'll be taking a 2nd set of measurements so I'll have double the documentation on my progress.
That's all for now. I have tons of hw to catch up on for school & a paper to write early b/c I'm going to see Rob Zombie on Wed night. I'd much rather enjoy it than stress about a paper being due the next morning. Hope you all enjoy the Superbowl if you watch it (I don't, lol).
(9 kommentarer)
01 februari 2011
Measurement Day
Weight: Nov 3: 240
Biceps: L:15 R:15
Bust: 43
Underbust: 37.25
Waist: 44
Hips: 53
Thighs: L:30.5 R:30
Calves: L:18 R:17.5
Neck: 13
BF%: 49.3%
BMI: 39.4
Weight: Feb 1: 244 (+4)
Biceps: L:16.5 R:15.5 (+1.5) (+.5)
Bust: 43 (0)
Underbust: 37.25 (0)
Waist: 42.5 (-1.5)
Hips: 51.75 (-1.25)
Thighs: L:30.5 R:30 (0) (0)
Calves: L:18 R:17.5 (0) (0)
Neck: 13 (0)
Not enough of a difference to even total. The biceps are still swollen from my meeting w/ a personal trainer last week, as well as the scale # still working it's way down. Just a repeat of last summer when I started lifting weights.
I have alot to say but not a ton of time to say it.
1) I drop all my challenges b/c they were making me scale obsessed & people are so serious about it that I'm only hurting my "teams" by staying.
2) Going back to weighing in once a month. Not bothering w/ it this month b/c I'm guessing I'm going to be bouncing all around the 240s for a bit.
3) I've been quiet for a multitude of reasons. I joined this site looking for a place to "fit" in but I don't. The more I look around, the more I realize I don't. Every weight loss group I have been in since I was 10 has been the same. I'm not normal & my body doesn't work like the average person. So I can't sympathize when someone has a fit over losing only 1 lb or the scale fluctuating up one day then dropping the next. I've done quite well not to say the things I feel like saying when I see so many things on this site.
That being said, I'm not going anywhere but I'm not sure how my involvement will continue. I had a moment w/ myself yesterday that hit me pretty hard, but it's very true. Everything I've ever done in life, I've done alone. I'm the only one who can champion for myself. I know if anything I'll be using my journals to document my workouts & I'll still log my food. By the grace of the universe if there's another alien out there like me perhaps my info will help someone.
This is just me being honest. This isn't about me having a bad day, being depressed or anything like that. I've felt like this for awhile, but like all "social" situations, I push myself to really try to fit when I know I don't. I'm sure I'll keep reading journals w/o commenting. I do truly wish everyone the best of success on each of your journeys. ;0)
So I'll be around, kind of like a ghost, here but not doing much interaction.
(4 kommentarer)
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