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woke up early this morning with a whopper of a migraine ...it hurt so bad I had a earache to go along with it.Feeling really imbalanced and anxious.. I had to go into a dark room to start my recovery...
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
I do the work of three people: Larry, Moe and Curly.
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights
A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes,
why do some people get married more than once.
If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly
My knees buckle and my belt won't.
I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I can get the same effect
just by standing up really fast.
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