|
I'm doing well maintaining...I'm off to the Dodgers game.You can't call me a fair weather fan if their in first place or last place( their in last place)lol.. I'll cheer for the BLUE!
Of course peanuts ,dodger dogs and brew is helping.....
My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely well enough.
What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half mast?They're hiring
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there will no services today."
How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows. It's never happened.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "
Losing a husband can be hard. Sometimes, it's damned near impossible.
Chinese couple's in bed. Husband says, "I like a sixty-nine."
His wife says, what you crazy..."You want beef and broccoli now?"
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One... men will screw anything
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit football stadium.
What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball
|