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I had a nice A-ha moment this evening to wrap up this day that that started in such an ominous manner. To know how big a deal this is to me, you first must know it's genesis happened in 1997. I was hospitalized by an infection in my lower right leg for about 10 days. The origin was never determined & it left a rather ugly scar. As I have aged & become heavier, it has caused me circulation issues. Nothing major, but iron in my blood has been deposited around it over time, causing it to darken. It is not freak show worthy, but it could have it's own Lifetime movie. It's ugly & just interesting enough for parents to scare unruly children with. I talk about it in jest today, but before January 26th it was a source of great embarrassment. Due to my leg & more because of the attention it garners, I do not go out in public in shorts. I always wear long pants. So as my wife is baking goods for a Relay for Life Bake Sale fund raiser tomorrow; which left me in charge of dinner; I hopped in the car, went to the restaurant, & got out to go in. (Salad for me by the way.) That's when I noticed them. A couple of couples were sitting on the patio & one of then was pointing out my leg to the other three. Oh shiitake mushrooms! I left the house to go out in public in shorts. Now, on January 25th, this would have caused me much turmoil. So much that I most likely would have turned around, went back, & changed clothes. Now I'm a looker already being over 400 pounds, but couple that with a leg that looks a failed amputation; & you guessed it, I'm the envy of the town. Old Jon would have consumed many a M&M over such an event, but this ain't Old Jon anymore. New Jon walked that demon in the restaurant, picked up his family's order, & walked out. I didn't try to hide it. I put no effort in concealment. I walked around the restaurant like Freddie Mercury on stage. I am simply amazed at how free I have become. My back is straight. My shoulders are no longer slumped. The load is simply gone. My baggage has disappeared. My mentality, flipped on my tenacity, & released my insanity. I could not have experienced such an event without you band of merry climbers of mountains that come here to read the rantings of a crazy person. I thank you for that. It may seem so simple to you, but I will never forget today. Jon's leg scar shame died today. There will be no funeral. Only a celebration of his passing.
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1270 kcal
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Fett: 97,00g | Prot: 43,00g | Kolh.: 60,00g.
Frukost: Kellogg's Nutri-Grain Cereal Bar - Strawberry. Lunch: McAlister's Deli Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad (Choose 2 Portion). Middag: McAlister's Deli Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad (Choose 2 Portion). Snacks/Annat: Fiber One Chewy Bars - Caramel Nut. mer...
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 Kommentarer
Congrats! Always great to stomp over your strongest mental hurdles. ;)
09 apr 15 av medlem: MudBug
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WOW - that is fantastic! Good self-worth! Whoda thunk it? happy for you!
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I'm too sexy for my short, too sexy for my shorts, so sexaaaa...LOL. I have yucky spider veins on my one leg-yeah--inherited from both sides, so I can say this--you are one brave soul! You go boy! LOL. I know you are feeling good and I know you are doing good. Your posts are so positive and I can feel how well you are doing.
09 apr 15 av medlem: Jillzee00
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09 apr 15 av medlem: Horseshu1
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I am delighted for you New Jon.life is wonderful!
10 apr 15 av medlem: UmmBilal
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Great journal Jonathan. It's our own fears, hangups and demons that hold us back the most. We can't control other people's actions, but no one can make us feel bad about ourselves unless we allow it in our minds. God created each of us special and unique, we are all worthy.
10 apr 15 av medlem: jmb3450
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Hey Jmb3450, your statements nail how I see this struggle. Preach, brother preach. It is not about the food for me. It's about what was possessing me to consume the food. God equipped us all with a system of levers, buttons, & switches; & it is our responsibility to find out how to use them correctly. I ignored that for a long time & chalked a lot of things up to being unfair or took a victim's point of view or even one of the seven deadly's; envy. I harbored a lot of anger, almost rage, internally. That part of me, the core of my problem, was so deep undercover I don't know if I really knew it was there or knew it was there & was to scared to confront it. But I finally discovered how to flip my switch & it has opened a new set of eyes to see the world through. We are not all given the same talents. We all have varying levels of skills & abilities. We are not all born on the same rung of the ladder. Some people are fortunate to be born with a silver spoon; while some have to start this game of life with a wooden spoon; & an unfortunate some, have to start with no spoon. What is important, is that we get into the game; contribute to humanity; & accept that some fields are easier to play on than others. But therein is the object of this life; live it. Don't let other motivations live it for you. You'll screw it up. On a side note, I took a peak at your Bio information & really liked the way you were documenting high water water mark events; heaviest known weight, percentage of goal, etc.. I'm going to steal that from you. Thanks for the kind words & the tip.
10 apr 15 av medlem: Jonathan Walsh
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Jonathan Walsh 's vikthistorik
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