WisteriaSky233 's dagbok, 15 mar 24

Praying for strength and wisdom for you as you make important life changing decisions. Hugs! 

Thinking of you. You are strong enough to put yourself first and be a priority in your life. You deserve much better! Hugs to you 

you may want something specifically from him, like a show of emotion that he cares, but hes not fighting for you or the relationship. take it for face value. It may be hard to accept... Remember, your mental health and well-being is your top priority. Keep pushing forward!! xoxo 

Yes I think researching your options is your best bet 

As the father of a daughter, I appreciate you sharing your struggles. I'm praying for a good outcome for you and yours... 

Sending up Prayers for your Strength and Know that The Lord has already given you the Power within. 🙏🏽 

Sounds like he should see someone, extreme mood swings are not healthy. Unfortunately he has to want to do better. Couples counseling maybe? 

As someone who has lived through gaslighting and mental/emotional abuse, try to find yourself a safe place. Mood swings can also be part of a narcissistic attitude. I seeked out support counseling and filed for divorce. Even the Gaurdian Ad Litem was afraid of him. That was 19 years ago. Now I'm with someone who treats me with a lot of love and respect. It's never easy because you always hope for the "I will change" to really happen.  

Bipolar disorder can be scary use caution around the person that has it! Go to BipolarDisorder. com There[s medication nowdays!! 

quote for you "I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I deserve someone who is gentle and kind, because my soul is getting tired. Realising that I deserve something good is one of the first steps." —Michelle K., Why I Need To Say Goodbye 

sweetie he's got some mental problems that he needs to get help with its not that he's trying to mend the marriage if he thinks your looking for reasons to leave,then he said if you do leave he will just turn the feeling off and leave and not come back, that's not the words of any man who is really trying to mend a marriage. the way I hear his words in your post is I'm trying to fix it but your not trying so if you leave,I will just turn the feeling off and leave ugh that's him saying that you are the one not trying in my opinion instead of him saying that he knows he has mentally abused you and maybe physically I'm not sure but either way he could take ownership of the problem that he has caused himself and then offer to get help with himself and actually get help for himself and change. actions are louder than words....Don't ever let him make you think he's trying hard to mend the marriage and your not . as that alone is another thing he wants to make sure you feel like it's your fault for not trying hard enough when he's actually the one who is not trying and your the one who has put up with his attitude and abuse. I had been in your situation with my ex husband he did the same thing to me saying that I was giving up and not trying to make it work... Thing is they fail to realize is we tried for many many months/years to make it work and then when we have had all we can take and decide to part ways their narcissistic behavior wants to blame us instead of themselves... Had he tried along time ago really tried then maybe you could have worked things out.. that's what I told my ex before I left the next day. You are so sweet and caring and deserve to be treated as a queen and not mentally abused or physically... I don't remember all the bruises my ex put on me but I do remember every mentally abusive words he said to me it sticks with you longer than a broke arm,bruises, or another injury. those heal up mental abuse doesn't heal like that...You do what's best for you and don't worry about him or anyone else... I know it took me yrs to leave but I eventually found my way out and found the courage to leave from the mentally abusive relationship I was in. best decision I ever made...it sounds like you are finding your courage to finally leave and have a better life than you are in now, and you so deserve it and more. don't let him even try to make you feel guilty for not trying harder cause you've already tried your best when he did nothing but talk awful things to you,abuse you and not try at all. good luck and I will be praying for you... 

In my opinion you're better off leaving. He sounds like he has some type of mood disorder/mental health and from the sounds of him, he won't be willing to get help for it. You should pack your stuff while he's at work and go stay with a relative or a women's shelter or get your own apt. I don't know your financial situation, but I wouldn't stay another minute there. I wouldn't tell him where you're going either  

leave while you are able to it will only get worse. don't except things the way they are. 

Look up Dr. Ramani on YouTube, she’s gonna be immensely helpful for you 

I used to absorb dr ramani!! She was great at explaining the things i needed to understand!!