Went over to my parents house last night and sat by the fire. I haven't done this in years. The smell of the smoke was inviting and the company was great. Went down memory lane for awhile and it brought up some things that I haven't worked through yet. It's amazing how much stuff I have buried over the years. It brought me back to a time when I was depressed. (I hadn't been diagnosed as bi-polar yet.) I don't hate a lot of things in this world, but I definitely hate feeling depressed. The problems from my past keep surfacing lately. I still feel guilty for things that I have done in the past. I know that I have to get over it, but it is hard to forgive myself. My husband tells me that I have nothing to feel guilty for, but looking back I feel like I wasn't proud of who I was. I think a lot of the guilty feeling's have sprung from situations that happened when I was a child. I believe it is still haunting me. I get scared and have panic attacks if I think too much about it, so I try not to. In the grand scheme of things, I wish I could just move on and let the past be the past. Sorry if this post has brought you down, I just needed to get it out. On a better note. Although my weight-loss has been a struggle, I have overcome many things. I have to say that I do feel healthier both mentally and physically. I just need to keep working on myself. I will take it a day at a time. Put one foot in front of the other, and remember to keep my spirit's up when I get down. This community has kept me from falling back into my old ways. I have learned so many things from everyone. Having people respond to my posts and support me is incredible. I couldn't ask for better people to be on this journey with. Thank you to all of you.
Visa kostkalendern, 22 september 2018:
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1063 kcal
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Fett: 31,15g | Prot: 39,82g | Kolh.: 166,42g.
Frukost: Decaffeinated Coffee, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Krusteaz Protein Buttermilk Pancake Mix, Kroger Lite Pancake Syrup, Cinnamon, Quaker Rice Cakes - Cheddar Cheese, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Coffee. Middag: Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Decaffeinated Coffee, Classico Traditional Favorites Four Cheese Pasta Sauce, Kroger Mini Round Cheese Ravioli. Snacks/Annat: Private Selection 62% Cacao Dark Chocolate Chunks, Decaffeinated Coffee, Kroger Roasted Peanuts & Honey Creamy Peanut Butter, Kroger Deluxe Low Fat No Sugar Added Chocolate Frozen Yogurt, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Quaker Rice Cakes - Cheddar Cheese, Coffee, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla. mer...
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2287 kcal
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Träning:
Stående - 1 timme och 45 minuter, Titta på TV - 9 timmar och 30 minuter, Matlagning - 30 minuter, Duscha - 5 minuter, Shopping - 15 minuter, Sömn - 9 timmar, Vila - 2 timmar och 39 minuter, Diska - 6 minuter, Körning - 10 minuter. mer...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentarer
Wishing you better days ahead, with less guilt... I have to agree though, that fire looks inviting! Thanks for sharing some deep emotions, as its not an easy thing to do. Perhaps with time you can heal all of those suppressed feelings. :D
22 sep 18 av medlem: wright2018
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Think we all have stuff that haunt us from our past. It is hard to forget, however we must learn to move forward and leave the past behind past behind. Each day is a gift. Expressing your feelings hopefully helped. We are all here for each other.
The fire does look nice. Reminds me of camping days.. Happy Sunday
23 sep 18 av medlem: Anna Bear54
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Remembering past challenges is hard and developing insight into past experiences has pluses and minuses. Try thinking of three things every day that you are grateful for and it may help also.
23 sep 18 av medlem: Linda Har
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Bipolar here as well - I know exactly what you are talking about - wishing you the best!
23 sep 18 av medlem: nikeit
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I know exactly what you're talking abt. The depression is the worst. I'm bipolar too and believe me things do get better. Glad to see you're dealing w/some of your demons then I hope it goes deep into your past. I still struggle but nothing like I did in my past. This weight loss journey is helping, shows I can do this, not to mention all the extra energy I have that keeps me busy! ~~~HUGS~~~
24 sep 18 av medlem: zzspetals
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Thank you all for the support. My heart is filled with warmth. (hugs for all of you.)
24 sep 18 av medlem: MrsMagyk
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